Falling Like The Shattered Past
by sweet-exile
Summary: AU fic Wesley leaves with Connor seven years later they return implied slash


Falling Like The Shattered Past  
  
Rating:  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and for their sake it's just as well.  
  
Warning: Major Character Death  
  
| |  
  
He sat behind the age worn desk starring at he unopened letter sitting there; familiar handwriting dancing in front of his eyes. He'd received one such letter 7 years before, it's contents forever burned into his memory:  
  
Angel  
  
No doubt you realise that I have taken Connor. Don't try to find us for his sake as well as yours. I will keep him safe at all costs. Never doubt that. It's for the best L.A. is not safe for him. There are too many people that wish to hurt him and you.  
  
Forgive me  
  
Regards, Wesley.  
  
He'd never heard from them again, even though he'd searched everywhere. Wesley had disappeared off the face of the earth taking Connor with him. Photos of his son littered the desk, pictures of a smiling baby: all he had to cling on to. He wondered what Connor looked like now. He'd missed so much of Connor's life. Anger rose up, it wasn't fair 7 years without a word and now this letter. He tore it open and unfolded the pale blue paper.  
  
Angel  
  
We're in L.A. There are things you need to know. Expect us soon.  
  
Regards, Wesley.  
  
He was staggered; Wesley was coming with Connor. He'd hoped that one day he would find them. He'd long imagined that day, exactly what he'd say to Wesley and bringing Connor home.  
  
He re-read the letter again trying to find new meaning in those few short sentences.  
  
He was disturbed by a knock at the office door and looking up Angel saw Wesley standing there. He stood up and Wesley stepped back to reveal a dark haired boy.  
  
"Connor," Angel started towards them, pausing when Connor shrank back behind Wesley.  
  
"It's ok Connor. This is Angel. This is your dad." Wesley gave the boy a small nudge and Connor approached Angel wide-eyed with curiosity.  
  
Angel knelt down and Connor reached out to touch Angel's forehead.  
  
"You don't have ridges, not like Wes' books." He stated.  
  
Angel glanced at Wesley shocked.  
  
"Oh I've never lied to him." Wes explained. "Connor knows about where he came from. He knows who is family are."  
  
This surprised Angel. He had assumed that Wesley would have given Connor a new identity far removed from his real one.  
  
"Then that means you." Angel began.  
  
"Had every intention of bringing Connor back," Wes finished. I didn't take Connor to hurt you, the exact opposite in fact. I knew that staying here would be hazardous to you both and if you'd hurt Connor you would have never forgiven yourself."  
  
"The prophecy was false."  
  
"I know but that wouldn't have stopped any number of people manipulating you or any of us to take or hurt Conner. I did what I thought was right at the time, the only thing I could do."  
  
"And now what's changed?"  
  
Wesley paused and looked down at Connor.  
  
"Go and get the bag out the car please."  
  
Connor who had been waiting patiently while the two talked immediately made for the door and disappeared out.  
  
As soon as Connor was out of earshot, Wesley turned back to Angel.  
  
"I'm dying."  
  
Angel was horrified; this was the last thing he expected to hear. But looking closely at Wesley he saw how tired he looked, the dark circles under his eyes, much older than he should be and even for Wesley he was very pale.  
  
"How? What?"  
  
"It's cancer. I've been to several specialists and they've all said that same thing. This is why I'm here I would have preferred to wait longer until Conner can defend himself but it wasn't to be."  
  
"Well that's just perfect. You run off take my son away without a word, never to bring him back until you deem it's safe. What gives you the right to decide?" Angel could feel his rising anger.  
  
"I don't blame you for being bitter."  
  
"Bitter doesn't quite cover it. You have no idea what I've gone through. I've missed everything: first word, first tooth, first Christmas, first steps. I'm his father I should have been there for all that."  
  
At that moment Connor re-entered the office. He frowned at Angel.  
  
"Why are you shouting?" He asked slipping his hand into Wesley's.  
  
Wesley retrieved the bag Connor was clutching.  
  
"Here." Holding it out to Angel. "It's not much but it's all I have."  
  
Angel took it and looked inside. There were 7 neatly bound books and he fished one out. It was a year of Connor's life. Wesley had recorded everything: pictures of holidays, important landmarks and even some of Connor's artwork.  
  
"His medical records, vaccinations and school transcripts are in there as well."  
  
Angel looked at Wesley gratefully. "Thank you. Once a watcher always a watcher eh?"  
  
"Like I said I never did any of this to hurt you. Only what I thought was best."  
  
"I know but you should have talked to me."  
  
"Perhaps but I remember what you where like those first few weeks of Connor's life. Do you think you would have listened? You're not the easiest man to talk to but you are the most stubborn."  
  
"Not the most stubborn." Angel smiled his anger dissipating.  
  
"Connor's belongings are in the lobby and if it's alright with you I'd like to visit some time soon."  
  
"You're going?" Connor asked. "Don't."  
  
Wesley knelt in front of Connor and pushed a strand of hair from his face.  
  
"We've talked about this Connor. I need to go and you need to stay with your father. Be brave now you promised."  
  
"I will be." The boy sniffed noticeable tears in his eyes.  
  
Angel watched the exchanged with slight regret. He had thought terrible things about Wesley. Had wanted to kill him, make him pay for the hurt he'd caused but Angel couldn't see the monster he'd created in his mind in front of him now. It was obvious that Wesley only had Connor's best interests at heart and Angel couldn't find fault with that.  
  
"Stay Wesley, Connor would like it and so would I."  
  
Wesley flashed Angel a grateful smile. "I'd like that too."  
  
| |  
  
Cordelia came bursting through the doors of The Hyperion with Groo in tow.  
  
"Where is he? She demanded. "In fact why is he here at all?"  
  
"Calm down Cordy. Wes is upstairs with Connor."  
  
"You've left him alone with Connor? Are you nuts? What happened to hating the guy and never trusting him again?"  
  
"It's different. Wesley's different. We've talked." Angel was trying his best to calm Cordelia down but it just wasn't happening.  
  
"Well that's just peachy, one little chat and all is right with the world. He put us through hell Angel."  
  
"He knows that but like I said things are different. Wesley was only doing what he though was best."  
  
Cordelia's eyes narrowed, "different how?"  
  
"Wesley has cancer, he's dying."  
  
"Oh." Cordelia was lost for words momentarily but then 7 years worth of bitterness crept back in. "So he comes crawling back with some sob story and asks to stay. You really are going soft Angel."  
  
"I asked him to stay. I thought it would be best for Connor if they said goodbye properly."  
  
"I see and how do you know that this isn't just another lie."  
  
"I know I can see him fading in front of me."  
  
The assembled group all turned towards the stairs at the sound of Connor running down followed by an apologetic looking Wesley.  
  
"Sorry we heard the noise from upstairs and he refused to wait any longer." Wesley said. "He was excited to see his Aunt Cordelia and Uncle Groo,"  
  
Groo stepped forward, "hail to you protector of Connor. It is good to see you again."  
  
"Thank you it is good to see you too. Cordelia how have you been?"  
  
Her first answer was cut off by Wesley's physical appearance, even she could see that he was telling the truth.  
  
"Good thanks and you?"  
  
"As well as can be expected."  
  
An awkward silence fell upon the group, until Connor tugged on Angel's sleeve. "You promised I could go out."  
  
Angel smiled down at him. "Yes I did and that's exactly why Cordy and Groo are here. They're taking you out to the park."  
  
"We are?" Cordelia couldn't keep the shock from her voice.  
  
"Yeap, lovely day don't want to waste it cooped up in here. Off you go." Angel pushed a confused Cordelia out the door. Groo and Connor close behind her.  
  
Angel turned back to Wesley. "That got rid of them, " he said.  
  
Wesley was feeling a little confused himself. "Don't you want to spend time with Connor?"  
  
"Course I do but there time enough for that."  
  
"You think that now but really no amount of time is enough. Angel you should spend time with your son."  
  
Angel took an unneeded breath; "do I have to spell it out? I want to spend time with you."  
  
"Oh I see. Why?"  
  
"7 years worth of new to catch up with for one. We have a lot to talk about. I'll make tea."  
  
Wesley grimaced at the thought of Angel's tea making efforts.  
  
"I'll do it." He insisted.  
  
It was late in the afternoon when Cordelia and Groo brought back Connor. They found Wesley and Angel in the office chatting as if the past 7 years hadn't happened.  
  
But it had and the evidence now ran into the office and climbed on Wesley's lap without even glancing at Angel. Connor proceeded to tell Wes about his day out.  
  
"When can I go back?" He asked.  
  
"You'll have to ask your Dad." Replied Wesley.  
  
Only then did Connor look at Angel. Who was doing his best not to look hurt. Everything had been going so well.  
  
"Can I please?"  
  
"Sure another day. But right now you should go wash up for dinner. You've brought half the park home with you."  
  
Connor slid off Wesley's knee and ran up the stairs.  
  
"I'm sorry Angel. I should go." Wesley made to stand up.  
  
"Yeah go, it's what you're good at." Snapped Cordelia.  
  
"Cordelia go home, we'll discuss this tomorrow. Wesley sit down I asked you to stay, I knew it wouldn't be an easy adjustment but Connor needs a friendly face." Angel's tone would stand no argument as he glared at them both.  
  
"Fine but tomorrow I'll be back." Cordelia stormed out the door.  
  
Groo stayed behind. "It will take time." He said, "Connor has room in his heart for you both. Don't let the friendship we saw earlier falter." And with that he left.  
  
"Wise man. Cordelia should hang on to him." Wesley said.  
  
"Hmm he's right." Agreed Angel. "Come on Connor's on his way down. I think I can manage to order pizza."  
  
Wesley rolled his eyes. "I guess I'll have to teach you how to cook. Before you ask, no eggs and take out are not a balanced diet." | |  
  
"Before you start. I'm sorry." Cordelia as promised was back the following day.  
  
"An apology from Cordelia Chase will wonders never cease?"  
  
"Ha ha very funny. Last night Groo and I talked, well he talked I listened. Save it." Cordelia held up her hand as she saw Angel about to make another comment.  
  
Angel just settled on a smile.  
  
"Groo made a lot of sense, he's very good at explaining stuff. He made me see Wesley's point of view. I'm glad I found Groo again I'm lucky to have him."  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
"I understand that Connor needs time to adjust and to say goodbye properly to Wesley. We all do, it's time to let go of the 7 years before Wesley's gone."  
  
"It doesn't have to be like that." Angel said quietly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Connor needs him. He doesn't have to die."  
  
"Tell me you're kidding. You can't be serious. You really want to turn Wesley and so Connor's life then becomes a twisted sitcom: 'My Two Vampire Dad's'. That's not fair on either of them."  
  
"It wouldn't be that much of a change."  
  
Cordelia looked at him with growing disbelief.  
  
"The spell we used to secure my soul would work on Wes."  
  
"Oh yeah same old Wes with added bite. Literally." Cordelia snorted. "Angel you can't do this to them. People die; you can't always save them. As harsh and cruel as that is you can't protect Connor from that. We will all die eventually even Connor. Ordinary life had a nasty habit of getting in the way and no amount of super powers or magic will stop that. You need to be strong for Connor and help him."  
  
"Connor needs him." Pleaded Angel.  
  
"He's not the only one?" Cordelia asked with raised eyebrows.  
  
"No I guess not," admitted Angel. "I have had 7 years to hate Wesley, picture him as monster and now."  
  
"You realise he's not the moustache twirling bad guy you thought, just a man trying to do the right thing. It's not wrong that you want to reconnect with your friend again but this is not the way to go."  
  
"Damn it Cordelia, stop making sense. It was just an idea."  
  
"You haven't even discussed with Wesley?"  
  
"No he hasn't and my answer is no."  
  
"You're awake." Said Angel turning to the stairs where Wesley stood. "Where's Connor?"  
  
"Still asleep. The trip with his Aunt Cordy and Uncle Groo wore him out."  
  
"Then how much did you hear?"  
  
"Enough. I understand Angel, time's short but Cordelia's right. What you propose wouldn't be fair on Connor."  
  
"But what about you? This is hardly fair on you."  
  
"I've done all I need to. It's my time."  
  
"You're giving up. I don't believe you."  
  
It's not giving up. We've been through this, I've been to all the specialists and the answer was the same. I've had 6 months to get used to this."  
  
"6 months? It took you 6 months to come back. Haven't you heard of aeroplanes?"  
  
Wesley sighed. "It wasn't easy for me, coming back. Not knowing the reception I'd get, if I'd be allowed the chance to plead my case or if you'd all made your minds up against me. I still expect to be beaten black and blue or worse. It took 6 months to summon enough courage to come back and face you all. Half of me wishes that I'd just left Connor on the doorstep and run."  
  
"And the other half?"  
  
"Is glad to be here." | |  
  
In the 3 weeks since Wesley and Connor had come home life had fallen into a routine of Wesley making sure Angel knew all there was to know about Connor's likes, dislikes and all the little things he would need to know when Wesley was gone. Connor was opening up and while he would still look to Wesley for guidance he was starting to accept Angel in his life. Cordelia and Groo visited every day and she and Wesley were also renewing their friendship. Angel had not felt this good in a long time, almost like the old days until he would look at Wesley and could feel his chest tighten where his heart used to beat. Wesley looked weaker with each passing day and it hurt Angel that he couldn't save him.  
  
Angel was sitting in the office when Connor came rushing up, "dad, Wesley's not getting up." He panted.  
  
Angel was out the door and up the stairs like a shot grabbing hold of Connor on his way past. Stopping outside Wesley's door he placed Connor down and knelt in front of the boy. "Stay here I'll check on Wes.  
  
Connor nodded his face full of concern.  
  
Angel entered Wesley's room and sat on the edge of the bed. With relief he saw the rising of Wesley's chest and heard Wesley's faint heart beat.  
  
He called Connor in, "he's just sleeping." He assured Connor who climbed onto the bed beside him.  
  
Connor gave a small smile and clung on to Angel's arm. "He's going to leave soon isn't he?"  
  
"I'm afraid so." Angel stroked Connor's hair comforting his son.  
  
"I'm scared, I don't want him to go."  
  
"Neither do I"  
  
They sat like that for what seemed like forever, just watching Wesley. Angel listened carefully to the dying man's heart, relief washing over him every time he heard the faint thud. Connor eventually fell asleep and Angel carried him to his own bed. Before returning to his vigil.  
  
As Angel watched his friend he knew he couldn't let him go no matter what Cordelia said. He knew it was selfish but he wouldn't give Wesley up now not when they'd just found each other again. Angel realised that he'd always loved Wesley and it was that was why Wesley's betrayal had hurt so much. Only it's wasn't betrayal just an act of love.  
  
Slowly he let his fangs descend and placed them at the joint between Wesley's neck and shoulders. He sank them in piercing the soft flesh and drank. It had been so long since he'd last tasted human blood he almost lost himself but he forced himself to stop. Tore a gash in his wrist and forced Wesley to drink.  
  
Then he gathered the supplies for the soul-returning spell and waited for his new childe to waken, praying that Wesley would forgive him. 


End file.
